Here we go again. Either a man in Slovenia has developed an operational time machine or the teachers in Ljubljana are doing a better job than others around the world at teaching creative writing. In what has come to be the standard modus operandi of alleged time travelers, this one covered his face, had his voice distorted and use only a first name. However, unlike most others, he showed his “homemade” time machine so that intrepid copycats might join him in traveling to the 45th century. Grab some computer parts and duct tape, get ready for a huge electric bill and let’s see if we can meet “David” somewhere in the future.
“The first traveling with my machine lasted 20 seconds then I started to prolong the time and I saw many interesting things. I even saw the aliens, which lives inside us. I communicated with the future people. I too much wanted to bring all the facts but I understand that my invention could bring harm and evil.”
Twenty seconds? What can you see in 20 seconds? That sounds more like a “20 Centuries in Five Minutes” economy tour of the future but it’s what “David” told an ApexTV (the go-to YouTube channel for all things time travel) interviewer in a video about his first and subsequent time excursions (see it here). However, before that he talked about building his homemade time machine.
Don’t forget the soldering iron
Wait a minute … aren’t they all homemade? Is there a factory somewhere where one can buy an off-the-shelf model? Asking for a friend who flunked physics.
“David” claims he abandoned his family and spent eight years traveling around the world looking for information on how to build a time machine. (Nice guy. Couldn’t he have just used Google?) It was during these travels that he says he met Jack Lion Cousteau in France (where else?), an experienced time traveler who built his own machine “by the help of electricity and water.” According to “David,” Cousteau constructed his device in 1928 and was able to travel to both the future and the past, claiming he’d gone back to the fifth century.
“David” doesn’t say how he convinced Jack Lion Cousteau to share his time machine design with him but unfortunately he didn’t take good notes because the model he built could only travel forward (and back to the present, of course).
“I do like to work with electric energy. Nicolas Tesla has impressed me.”
While describing his own machine, “David” seems to have assimilated more info from Tesla than Cousteau. Tesla’s famous first time machine experiment was said to have sent 3.5 million volts of electricity through him while sending him to see “the past, the present and the future at the very same time.” Luckily, an assistant pulled the plug and saved him. While “David” doesn’t mention an assistant, he has a similar experience:
“I found out that traveling can hurt very much because the machine work by the help of the electric energy.”
Perhaps he should have used new parts instead of what look like recycled electronics components (seen here). While he shows his machine (which doesn’t look like it could survive static electricity, let alone 3.5 million volts), he doesn’t show it in operation – not even on a volunteer, which he claims to have used before making 20 trips himself.
That’s right … he tested it on human volunteers before trying it on himself. What else would you expect from a guy who abandons his family to look for a time machine? Too bad he didn’t get the plans for the part that allows travel to the past so he could go back and apologize.
The plans didn’t call for a wayback chip
Then there’s the hole that all of these time travelers seem to fall into … describing the future from memory since they never bring back pictures or videos. “David” claims he went to the 45th century (4400 CE) and saw flying cars and 500-story buildings. You know, in about 100 years we’ve gone from hot air balloons to hypersonic jets and from outhouses to the 161-floor Burj Khalifa. By 4400, we should have a moving sidewalk to the Moon.
Sorry, “David.” Next time you see him, ask Jack Lion Cousteau for his plans for a do-it-yourself video camera.
Paul Seaburn (CLICK HERE TO READ AND SEE MORE)
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